3/31/2008

Stinky Dogs and Opposable Thumbs






How have I lived this long with 4 dogs and not known about this?

Maybe this isn't a high-use item for dogs because they don't have opposable thumbs. How would they grab ahold of it to use it? Furthermore, if you can't grab soap, how do you turn on the shower?

Poor doggies. Of course they stink. They have no opposable thumbs.






This same catalog also carries a product called "Snake-Away." It's a powder that's supposed to keep every snake BUT copperheads away from the garden. You sprinkle a little line of the stuff around the perimeter of where you don't want snakes and Voila! No snakes- just Copperheads.

Wonder how much of that stuff it would take to outline 63 acres? Okay, well maybe just the immediate 3 acres. And around my bed.

3/30/2008

Flea-Biteus





We are suffering from a case of Flea-bite-us around here. It seems despite the various preventative programs the dogs are all on, the fleas are winning. So it's come to this-

The ultimate, "organic" flea trap- a light and a piece of sticky paper.

I read the product reviews and was duly impressed. "I actually watched the fleas hopping across the room to get to it!" One man exclaimed.

"It's a miracle!" Another wrote.

I overlooked the one, sourpuss "I caught one flea! But to be fair, it could've been because I'd just vacuumed."

I am a desperate woman. I will try anything- once.

The traps are on order and shipping soon. I'll keep you posted. In the meantime, I'm wrapping my ankles in double-sided duct tape.

Perhaps this is more information than you ever wanted to know about my life, but in the words of the inimitable Randy Jackson, "I'm just keeping it real, Dawg."

3/28/2008

The Best Dandelion in the Graveyard





I think when Dad died, a part of me went right along with him.

He wouldn't want that. And now- finally, I don't want it either.

The greatest monument to the life of a loved one is not some marble edifice erected atop a grave. It's not how long we mourn or how deeply we grieve. We are the testament. Our tribute is in how we live our lives without them.

My mistake, thus far, has been in thinking I have to use all the tools Dad gave me every day, perfectly, just as he would have used them. But today I realized something- if I did that, I'd be living his life and not my own. Dad would really not like that. He was all about the importance of living your own life.

Besides, I would only be a cheap imitation of the greatest dad in the Universe.

I've tried to be a carbon copy of him and failed miserably every single day for the past 18 months. I've even tried to write like I imagine he'd want me to write- and it just hasn't worked.

I'm not a very good graveyard angel. That's okay. Maybe my job is to be the dandelion that grows beside the marble monument, stretching its roots deep and lifting its face toward the sun.



3/27/2008

Two Blogs- One Life





I'm re-evaluating my entire approach to blogging. Maybe I'll have two blogs- one about my writing and one about life.